Post your favorite military joke.

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between
Assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the
courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked
to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you
to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes
went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still
waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine
got o ut of his Chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him;
knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other
students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the
Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you
do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit
and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

oh i like this one lol

1stLt. Koble, sorry sir, but I used to be stationed with some of your devil dogs... I had to learn how to give as well as I got!

dustin i did hear that version, i totally forgott about it

Hey Cory,,I really like your jokes,,your funny jokes gave people smiles here in Kosovo, e-mail me your address, shirt size and favorite color, will send you your prize..like i promised..good job..dude,,take care..

An Airforce General, Navy admiral, Marine Corp General and an Army General where having a heated debate on who's service members had the most guts, Finally they came up with a solution on how to prove it.

AF General: Airman!
Airman: yes sir
AF general: I want you to shoot down the next passing f-16.
Airman: yes sir!
The airman picks up a stinger and shoots down the next f-16 that flew by.
The AF General says "now that to guts"
The Navy Admiral scoffs, Ha that aint nothing.
Admiral: Sailor!
sailor: Sir?
Admiral: I want you to sink that battle ship anchored out there!
sailor: Aye-Aye
The sailor grabs a Limpet mine and swims a 1/4 mile out to see and shortly afterwards there was a tremendous explosion and the ship sinks. The Admiral proclaims " That gentlemen, took some guts"
The Marine General laughs and says that aint sh*t, watch this"!
Marine General: Marine!!
Marine: SIR!
Marine General: I want you to take out that bunker!
Marine: YES SIR!!
So the young Marine grabs a handgrenade and IMT's his way towards the bunker, the wole time bullets are firing in his direction..the marine finally makes it to the bunker and tosses in a grenade and blows it up.
The Marine General says without a doubt that took guts! Everone is impressed, except the Army General who just laughs. OK Gentlemen now it's our turn.
Army General: Soldier!
Soldier: YES SIR!
Army General: I want you to take out that tank!
Soldier: F@ck you sir!
Army General: Now THAT to guts!

That's a pretty good one Bill. I might have to steal that when I'm hanging out with purple suits down in Tampa

Your family might be too HOOAH if your kindergartener calls recess a smoke break

your family might be too hooah if your older kids call the younger ones cheery

An army 2Lt. is taking his platoon on patrol when his scouts come running back and say
"Sir, there's a Marine standing in the way of the road".
The Lt. scoffs and sends a fire team to go investigate and remove the Marine.
They approach the Marine and he begins to head for a small ridge
on the side of the road and motions for them to follow.
As the rest of the platoon advances and takes cover they hear yelling and screaming.
The Marine emerges a couple minutes later and dusts himself off
and again stands in the middle of the road.
The Lt. curses and calls for a squad to remove the Devil Dog.
He again heads down to s small ridge and they follow.
Once again there is blood-curdling screaming and weeping.
And AGAIN the Marine emerges and dusts himself off.
Bewildered and pissed off, the Lt. sends all but his platoon Sgt. down and says
"Eliminate the motherfu**er". They run towards him and again follow him to the ridge.
The screaming begins again and suddenly a specialist comes running up,
bloody, his cammies all mangled. The Lt. is in shock and says
"What the hell is going on out there soldier?"
Gasping for breath the soldier replies,
"Its a trick sir!! There's two of em."

Two airmen were driving across country on leave. They come to a Marine Corps base and decide to visit. They approach the gate and the Marine Guard walks up to the driver's window, and taps on it with his nighstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the Marine smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The Marine says, "You're on a United States Marine Corps Base, son. When I come up to your car, you'll have your ID card ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, We're in the Air Force, and we didn't know."

The Marine examines the I.D. card and gives it back to the driver.

The Marine walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the Marine smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The Marine says,"Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The Marine says, "I know that as soon as you pull away you're gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that stuff with me!'"
More Jokes

Staff Sergeant Ortega,,that is funny sh*%t..lol

I Got one I heard from a buddy the other day.
Q: Why does the Navy use powdered soap?
A: It takes longer to pick up....