Military Relationships

Just curious on how many relationships military or civilian you have gone threw that could have developed into something but failed due to one or the others military career. And for those that are married how hard is it to keep that spark going?

my ex is in the army and couldnt keep his bird in his pants :(

My first marriage took place Dec 1972, I joined the Active Duty Army in Dec 1973 went to BCT at Fort Dix in Jan 1974 and then to Germany after AIT in July 1974 and then stationed in T'Harde NL. Well after a year and half of me being gone the wife started an affair with an E-7 at a post close to our home and then Oct 76 she filed for a divorce. That one was a lost cause anyway because we didn't see eye to eye on anything.

been married since 2001, first marriage. I have been deplyed for 2 out of the 6 years, so not bad. This deployment is harder as now we have a daughter, so it is more for my wife to deal with by-herslf. Harder on me too missing my princess. But alls good with us. I send flowers, emails, phone calls and mail my daughter post cards with pictures of disney charaters that I draw for her. The wife and daughter send me bronies, cookies, etcc that they bake together. I am about halfway thru this tour and can't wait to get home. But we know that another tour is probally not that far off.

You hear a lot about how the Army has an extremely high divorce rate, what they fail to tell you is that a large number of the marriages in the Army are done for reasons other than love. I dont want to go into details but service members know what Im talking about.

My wife and I have been married for nearly two years and have physically been together about 4 months. We are both in the service and she has spent the last year and a few months finishing college nd attending OCS. She graduates in November of this year, and I deploy that same month. Chances are I wont see her before I deploy. Distance makes it difficult but if you love your significant other it doesnt make it impossible.

Blah blah Im rambling, if the military ruins your relationship your relationship would have failed anyways. If you or your significant other cant go a deployment without humping someone else, it was bound to happen sooner or later anyways, deployment or not. If your significant other cant stand you being away that long, he or she needs to develop more as a person and be a bit more self reliant. Granted its not easy, but the military wont destroy your relationship.

(I cant speak for everyone, this is my own personal experiences, what Ive seen, and where Ive been)

My ex was in uniform when I met him in a supermarket car park. I knew from the start he was in the Military. We swapped numbers that day and kept in touch for 3 months before we could meet up again. We were together 3 weeks when he got moved to another state. In the first 12 months we spent 23 days together and each time involved travel from one or both of us. It was expensive and hard, but we talked online most nights and one way or another he was able to be there for me.

We split a few months ago but I don't blame the military. We stayed friends and I will always be here for him as he prepares to go away.

My new b/f is Army - MP. I know what I'm getting into and I accept it. I have always found that keeping busy is the best way to get through it. Get involved in groups, find hobbies and for that sexual frustration....join a gym!!

At least life is never boring when you're with a Soldier ;)

I got married Nov.29, 2007 and He deployed Jan.3, 2008. It gets hard being apart at times but we never fight over anything of importance. And we get over everything quick. Life is 2 short to be mad at each other. He comes home today for 12 days! I'm excited. We never got a honey moon so might as well make his time home the honey moon. Btw, there is nothing better than being an army wife. For me it is an honor to stand by my man and support the troops!

I've dated 2 guys in the military. First one is in the Air Force. It was a great relationship and then he was deployed to Afghanistan for a year. Right before R&R he broke up with me for no apparent reason. Just said I had changed....well, duh, I was going through the emotional stages of deployment since I had never experienced it before. I think he changed too and became very angry with me after he got back. it was such a shame as our relationship was a really good one before he left.

The last guy I dated was apparently screwing at least 2 other girls besides me and got one of them pregnant or so they think. Its a 50/50 chance as medically he has a slim to none chance he can have kids. This guy is a terrible, terrible person so no loss to me.

im in the DEP program and im in a relationship about to get engaged...

My husband and I have been married 4 years now. Out of the first 26 months in the Army he was gone 24 months. He has been home almost 8 months and will deploy again soon. This coming deployment is going to be harder for us now that we have a daughter, but not impossable. I think if you truley love your SO you will make it work.

How about this ... what about trying start a relationship when you know you're leaving .... any female opinions on that one

I don't think there's anything "wrong" about starting a relationship when you know you're leaving... but really only if you know that that relationship is gonna be worth the wait. Otherwise you're both just wasting time and energy.


I was with my ex boyfriend who was in the army for 2 years before I moved away to england which already meant we didn't see alot of eachother. Then he was deployed to iraq for 2 years, and it still worked.
When he came back we stayed together for another year (still the distance germany - england)
Until he was sent back to the states and wanted me to move with him, but i didn't want to because I had just started university.
2 weeks later he was "engaged" to some old woman, and never spoke to me again.

I think if you want something to work, and are willing to work for it to work, then it will work (given there is love, trust and honesty), no matter what occupation you have or how many deployments you go on.

Two. I to together with my best friend of 7 years(now ex best friend) a couple months before he left for iraq. Then when I was trying to get back together with him I met a sailor and we ended up falling for each other when he was trying to help me get back with my ex. We got engaged and Long story short they both broke my heart.

Speaking from 20 years experience with this very subject...the relationship that makes it through the Separation of Deployemnts (no matter how long they are or how many times) is the relationship you both earned, and were meant to be in... the rest ... I call "Practice".
They were meant as nothing more in your life, than that > . period <

I don't find it necissarily a bad thing to try to start something up before a deployment BUT I'm a firm believer in developing that friendship basis FIRST. A deployment would actually be perfect for this. My ex, Mike, was in Afghanistan when we first "met" and talked for 4 months before we actually met. It was great because we developed a friendship, then when we met in person it was fairly comfortable!

However, I honestly think that military guys really need to be careful and trust their instinct when it comes to something like this. There are A LOT of women who cannot handle this lifestyle hence the cheating and my oh so favorite (speaking sarcastically of course) the WHINING ay ay ay! Make sure you find somoene independent and open with communication about things. I honestly believe you will find a great gal which could turn into a great relationship!

I've always had a thing for a man in uniform but I've only dated 1 military man. He's Army. We were together for a year before he deployed. I live an hour and a half from where his post is so I only got to see him 3 times a week. It was hard at times because his job is demanding but I loved him so it was well worth it. He deployed last August and to date his deployment has been 1 of the hardest things I've had to endure but it was made a bit easier due to his availability to communicate. He's an officer so he had a phone line he could call me everyday. He had internet in his room so we could chat for hours.......ect. Just before he was getting ready for his 2 week leave in Feb. he started acting strange. He started to make up excuses as to why we wouldn't be able to spend the entire 2 weeks together........ he also said he changed plans and wouldn't fly into Ft. Drum but syracure airport instead. Nothing ADDED UP SO i BEGAN TO SNOOP. I ENDED UP FINDING OUT HE'S MARRIED. I was devestated and couldn't understand how I didn't know. How do you spend a year and a half in a relationship and not know?? His wife and him owned 3 homes and only one of which is here in NY........thats how I didn't know. Every plan we made, every promise uttered were all lies.........thats been my only military relationship. Needless to say I broke it off and refused to see him while he was home. He's still in Iraq and I still e-mail him to make sure he's okay . If I was less ignorant to the way of life in the military I probably would have figured it out long before I did, I blame myself.

Wow alot of stories from different views. Seems the military has made a bad image for themselves.I talk in past tense as now I am ING and a Private Security Specialist in country now. As being a prior Army Infantry soldier I apologize for anything I may have done or my fellow combat arms idiot brother have done to you gorgeous ladies.

Ann I am sorry for your experience but officers ( not all) are what we call TOOLS. There idiots that cant make a rational decision and think they can have it their way and not care. If it was me Id never have let you go. To beautiful for that crap. Deployments are hard. iI went through two of them differnet girlfriends and got divorced cause the Ex wife couldnt keep her legs closed for 2 weeks after I left. I hope this can change but be weary and keep up a guard til you can trust someone. If you want to talk or bs and chat my email is

jstassi@scpsecurity.com. TTYL

Without a doubt I'm on my guard....... I'll e-mail you.

Ann, I had a similar experiance. I started to really like this soldier I knew. We never became bf/gf but three months later I found out he was married. If I knew his home number I would've told his wife. After the two mil guys I've dated it's not easy to date a military man again. Not that a wouldn't but they broke my heart so bad it's hard to get out of that what if it happens again thing. My ex in the Army was my best friend for seven years. He broke up with me before he left for iraq. Everyone said it was normal and since it was his first tour that those things happen. Don't worry. Well he said he wanted to get back together when he got home and asked me to wait for him. Fourteen months later after i had faithfully waited for him he slept with my friend and got her name tattooed on his chest.

wow..........thats harsh!!! I cant even imagine how hurt I would be. I just dont understand people sometimes. And by the way If they could do that to you they were never your friend, dont honor them by using the term.