my first love was a Marine. Overall he was a great guy and it was an amazing 3 yrs. However, he got a medical discharge...and after that had no motivation to get a job or do anything...i could only help him with his bills as well as pay my own. He was dragging me in debt and I tried to help him. But all he did was drink and once his drinking and anger got out of hand I left. After that relationship I dated one of my guy friends he was in the Army. He really was a great guy and it was a good relationship. His friends though kept making allegations of him cheating in an effort to break us up. We ended splitting up on mutual terms....but he told his guy friends that i dumped him for cheating on me. It wasn't even a week before his Army buddies were calling me up wanting to go out.....talk about shady huh, anyways, I told him who was the ring leader of it all and they're no longer friends.
I have lost three girlfriends to the army, between deployments and training Ironically I married one of my army buddie's sisters. Her family is mostly military so she was fully aware of what she was getting into, and our marriage is doing great.
I Have been around the military in one way or another all my life . I believe that in a relationship with someone in the military it takes a lot of communication and patience and understanding as well as give and take .
I feel lucky that if i ever got into a relationship with a military member , i already understand his hours , confines of the job , rules , regs , hours , ups , downs etc , but i try to think of it in positive ways . If a holiday is missed , make a date in advance to celebrate it , He goes to field or on a mission , for me that's a time i can take the whole house apart clean it and put it back together without him under foot , or do those things i would really like to get done but would normally take away from our time together or several other things i can think of . These are just a few things i would use to make a positive out of a negative .
To me its all in the way each person wishes to handle it from within and how you handle it together .
Met my wife in the military, 12 and a half years later we are still married and have two children. She stuck by my side when I deployed to Iraq. So they can work, if you dedicate your lives to one another.
Ive been married 10 years and we have been through 3 deployments and are still going strong.Times can be hard but it takes both people to make the relaionship work.
I think it really depends on the couple. I'm an Army brat and used to be in the Reserves. My husband and I are coming up on our 2 year anniversary this month, and he was deployed for 14 months of it.
It's hard to find a guy in the military that is faithful/loyal/honest. I'm one of the lucky few that found a great guy. He was 32 and I was 26 when we got married, and he had never been married before, and had no children. I think that's the key. Too many Soldiers jump into relationships with young women, and it rarely ever works out. Wait a while, don't get married so quickly. And just a piece of advice from someone who can spot a Soldier sniper a million miles away...the Army life is not romantic. It's just like any other marriage, but your husband is gone more. Nothing annoys me more than a girlfriend/wife who have "I Love My Soldier" all over their car and myspace page. It shows me that they don't have the maturity level to deal with a military marriage. There are long absences and late nights, and you have to know for a fact that you can be both mom and dad to your children. Hold back on calling the unit every time you have a problem...your husband's command has bigger things to worry about than your husband not being home on Valentine's Day. My husband has missed every single one of my birthdays since we've been together, and will probably not be here for my birthday this year either. I don't get depressed about it, I just go on with life.
In addition, my parents have been married for 30 years in a couple of days, and my dad was in the Army for 24 years. It really depends on your commitment to each other and an intimate understanding of the military and its operations. You may not always have the opportunity to grow together, but with a little effort, you can make it work.
Also, I've been around the Army for 28 years...the wives cheat just as often if not a little more than Soldiers do. It's just not as well known because they tend to keep it a little quieter, and are more "careful" about it, so to speak.
2 there was the love of my life that had everyone expecting a walk down the eisle, he dumped me because I dont know... then there is my now ex husband, was married to him for two years, i stayed completely faithful, i honostly have no clue how much he slept around on me but he did have at least two full blown affairs, WHILE I WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD
Since I joined the Military i have gone through about 4good relationships that have ended cause she didnt like the fact that i could be called up at any time for deployment for the fact that i was gone for so long for BCT and/or AIT
a wise man once told me Miliatry relationships are the hardest to keep going the constant deployments and the never ending training will always destroy a relationshiphis advice to me was stay single enjoy life wiat till your 80 to marry someone .....Iam glad to say i didnt fallow his advice But he is kinda right i meet my wife while i was in iraq (Internet) through a mutal friend we talked everyday ..........everyday i could and desided to meet while i was home on R&R well after that 14 days when we where standing at PHX International Airport waiting on my flight to start the LONG trip back to iraq i got up the nerve to ask her to marry me she said yes but i would have to ask her dad first ( Great more stress on top of being blown up every day lol) i agreed and got on the plane wheni finally called her dad to ask he asked me what took so long to call ..........we have been married 4 years this coming DEC 9th and even through the REALly bad times with PTSD she has always been my rock ,this is my second marriage the first one ended lets just say like WWII so to find this woman after MANY failed relationships was by far a blessing ......everyday even here in iraq now i find the time to tell her how important she and are two sons are to me and that they have made me who i am today ............. SO i would tell you that yes relationships are by far the hardest in the military but if you want it that bad and the other person feels the same way IT WILL WORK ,But just like are jobs in the military you didnt get to your first duty assignment knowing eveything there is to know about you job you had to learn same with a relationship you gotta have room to learn.
My wife and I met during a mobilization for deployment that I volunteered for. We were married at Ft. Dix 2 days before leaving for Iraq. Though the deployment was tough on us both, we made it through. We have been married for 2 1/2 years now, and goin strong. I am sure I will be deployed again soon, and that will just be another test for us.
I can tell you first hand that it's tough to have a relationship with a servicemember. John and I have known each other for over 5 years and because of his career, we've had to put things on hold, break it off, start all over again, and almost called it quits permanently a few times. Then again, if it weren't for the Army, we never would have met.
I don't think the military makes or breaks a relationship, it's the integrity and willpower of the people in the relationship. I've stood by John's side through a hell of a lot more during the last 5 years than what some of my divorced friends have gone through in 10 years of marriage. Again, it's all about the people in the relationship, not the circumstances surrounding it.
You know what you're in for when you let yourself build your life around a soldier. You're not marrying the soldier, you're marrying the Army life.
